<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>wish this never ends by burnwiththesun</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24120202">wish this never ends</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/burnwiththesun/pseuds/burnwiththesun'>burnwiththesun</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Men's Hockey RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff without Plot, M/M, Making Up</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:34:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,988</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24120202</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/burnwiththesun/pseuds/burnwiththesun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I didn’t want to stress you out! I didn’t want to make a big deal out of a problem that is just mine. You have other stuff going on and you’re not my personal teddy bear or something.” Jonny raked a hand through his hair, frustrated.</p><p>“Oh.” Patrick had a finger against his lips and he was studying Jonny intently. “I see.” </p><p>“Do you?” Jonny pressed, holding his phone tightly as if it would erase the distance between him and Patrick.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>99</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>wish this never ends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>title from "I Miss You" by Blink 182. </p><p>this is just fluff again. idk, y'all. it doesn't even have plot, really.</p><p>edited to add: 1988 words, it's a sign. not sure of what, but it definitely is.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He missed Patrick. It had only been four days, but he missed him. Not in an I-just-lost-a-tooth-and-keep-remembering-it’s-gone way but in a fuck-someone-just-shot-my-leg-off-and-it-hurts-like-shit way. Jonny had enjoyed his time with his parents and his brother, but he ached with missing Patrick. </p><p>He paced his bedroom floor, moonlight painting the floor with playful shadows. He checked the time on his bedside clock - too late to call Patrick and sound any measure of sane. He fell back into bed, shoving a pillow aside and finding the cool spot in the sheets. </p><p>His phone in the bathroom began buzzing, bumping against the sink with each vibration. Jonny shot up in bed, heading for the phone automatically. He swiped to accept the call. </p><p>“Hello?” Jonny’s voice was scratchy and low. He cleared his throat. </p><p>“Oh shit. You were asleep. I didn’t even think, I just-” Patrick’s voice rushed through the small speaker jammed against Jonny’s head. </p><p>“Yeah, no, sleep isn't happening for me tonight. It's fine.” Jonny scratched his head and unplugged his phone, climbing back into bed and settling against the bank of pillows. </p><p>“What’s wrong?” Patrick sounded concerned, across the 863 miles that separated them. Jonny started flexing his feet and relaxing them in rhythm with his breaths. </p><p>“I don’t know.” Jonny mumbled into his phone, turning his head away slightly as if Pat was in the room with him. </p><p>“Bullshit.” Patrick’s voice was growing steadier and more alert. Jonny would bet every penny he had in the bank that he was turning on his lights and starting his own pacing. </p><p>“Calm down, it’s not-” Jonny toyed with the edge of his duvet, searching for a word to relieve Patrick’s worries. </p><p>“I’m coming up there if you don’t level with me in the next ten seconds.” Patrick’s voice was calm and level. If Jonny didn’t know better, he’d assume that Patrick had no interest in his answer. Being Jonny, he sighed audibly and cursed under his breath. Patrick was pissed. He started up again. “Can we facetime? I can’t do this and not see you.” </p><p>“Yeah, course.” Jonny pulled his phone away and saw Patrick’s face glaring at the screen before he could press any buttons. “Shit. I didn’t want to do this.” </p><p>“You didn’t want to do what, Jonathan? Talk to me? See me?” Patrick spit the words at him, eyebrows scrunched together and eyes serious. </p><p>“Fuck, okay. Let’s do this, then.” Jonny switched on his bedside lamp and sat up in bed. “My head is fine, babe. I just-” </p><p>“Jonathan.” Patrick’s eyes were roving over Jonny’s face and he watched as Pat grew pale. “Fuck, are you breaking up with me? Is that what this is?”</p><p>“Okay, you’re done talking.” Jonny huffed out a breath. “I’m not fucking breaking up with you. We’re gonna come back to that in a minute. I couldn’t sleep without you, okay? I can’t fucking sleep in a bed by myself and I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to do this.” </p><p>“Do this what?” Patrick was lying against the pillows of their bed in Chicago, but Jonny could read the tension all over his face. </p><p>“I didn’t want to stress you out! I didn’t want to make a big deal out of a problem that is just mine. You have other stuff going on and you’re not my personal teddy bear or something.” Jonny raked a hand through his hair, frustrated.</p><p>“Oh.” Patrick had a finger against his lips and he was studying Jonny intently. “I see.” </p><p>“Do you?” Jonny pressed, holding his phone tightly as if it would erase the distance between him and Patrick. “Because I’m not sure you do. I didn’t want you to worry about me, because I don’t want to be a difficult thing in your life. I didn’t want to tell you I wasn’t sleeping, because I love you and I want you to be happy.” </p><p>“Hmph.” Patrick snorted, face tight. “Do you think maybe I would wanna know that you weren’t sleeping well? Do you think maybe that loving me doesn’t mean protecting me from all the parts of you that you think I can’t handle or I don’t want to handle?” Jonny looked away from his screen, mouth dry and throat working. </p><p>“Jonny, I love you too. And that’s why I care if you’re not sleeping or if you’re having a good time with your family or if you’re missing me.” Patrick huffed. “Especially if I can fix one of your problems. Or more.”</p><p>“I thought-I was doing the best I could.” Jonny brought his eyes back to meet Patrick’s, face pink and tears beading up in his eyes. </p><p>“Babe, don’t cry.” Patrick’s face softened and he rolled to his side, taking the camera with him. “I love you. Let’s start over.” He paused for a moment. “What’s wrong?” </p><p>“I miss you and I can’t sleep without you.” Jonny mumbled, wiping his eyes and trying to recover quickly. </p><p>“I miss you so, so much. I couldn’t sleep tonight, either. And why are you crying?” Patrick prodded gently. </p><p>“I’m so tired and I’ve tried everything, but nothing’s working and I just want to sleep.” Jonny’s voice cracked and he finally curled up into his pillows. </p><p>“I hate that. I wish you would’ve told your boyfriend about that before. Wanna go to sleep together on the phone?” Patrick began typing on his phone, before looking back up at Jonny with a sweet smile. </p><p>“I love you.” Jonny yawned, trying to practice deep breathing. </p><p>“I love you, too. Just let go, baby. Just relax.” Patrick murmured across the call, soothing Jonny into a fitful sleep. </p><p>-</p><p>Jonny woke up approximately five hours later to weak sunshine and hushed voices coming from the kitchen. He rolled over to turn off his lamp and spotted a prescription bottle beside it. A note lay beside the bottle. ‘Patrick called this in for you last night. I hope you got some rest. x, Mom’ Jonny called Patrick on his phone, quickly. </p><p>“Did you call in my sleeping pills last night?” Jonny started, mind already whirring ahead. </p><p>“Yep.” Patrick responded calmly. “Good morning to you, too. Did you sleep okay?” </p><p>“It was fine, I think.” Jonny picked up the note again. “Did you tell my mom I wasn’t sleeping?” </p><p>“We’re gonna talk about this, Jonny.” Patrick’s tone was dark and unhappy. Jonny grimaced, planting his feet on the floor to get his day started. </p><p>“Yeah,” Jonny sighed. “I need to go grab a shower and eat breakfast. Call you later?” He found a clean towel in the bathroom and turned the suite’s shower on hot. </p><p>“Sure thing.” Patrick sounded more positive. “Talk to you soon.” </p><p>“Love you. Bye.” Jonny ended the call and quickly showered, trying to brush the brain fog away. Sometimes sleeping felt worse than not sleeping the next day. </p><p>-</p><p>Jonny dressed and headed downstairs to make breakfast. Mind occupied, he bypassed the kitchen’s occupants and went straight to the fridge. </p><p>“Jonathan.” Andree’s voice was quiet. “Don’t be rude.” Jonny whirled around, finding his parents grinning at him from the sink and leaning against the bar-</p><p>“Patrick.” Jonny’s grin almost ate his face as he crossed the kitchen in three steps and caught him around the waist. He buried his head in Patrick’s shoulder and pulled him tight. Patrick’s arms shook as he tightened his arms against Jonny’s back. Finally, Jonny pulled away from Patrick’s shoulder far enough to look into his eyes and kiss him softly. Neither of them noticed Jonny’s parents leaving the kitchen. </p><p>After an indeterminate amount of time, they heard a distant “Hey!” and broke apart, grinning. They turned and found David leaning against the fridge. “You guys are super gross. But, whatever. Good to see you, Kaner. Jonny, eat breakfast.” With that solid advice, David left the room. </p><p>“Right.” Jonny shook his head and stepped away. “Have you eaten yet? I think I just want a protein shake for now, but I still have some of your stuff if you want one.” Patrick crooked an eyebrow at him. </p><p>“Nah, I already ate at the airport.” Patrick slid onto a stool at the bar, watching Jonny quickly assemble a protein shake. “I’m not kissing you again if you drink that.” </p><p>“Sure you will,” Jonny replied easily. “I’ll brush my teeth again.” Patrick laughed aloud. “Did you take a redeye to get here?”</p><p>“Yeah, Andree picked me up about an hour ago.” Patrick returned, toying with the placemats. “I told you I’d come.” </p><p>“I said everything was fine.” Jonny looked over and met Patrick’s eyes. They were dark and sad.</p><p>“I meant what I said and here I am. Now, are we going to argue about me flying here or are you going to eat so we can finish our arguement from last night?” Patrick planted his hands on the bar and faced Jonny, watching as he sucked down his green protein shake.</p><p>“I guess we can finish the last one.” Jonny’s smile was weak as he gulped down the rest of his shake and rinsed the glass.</p><p>“We need to talk. Not in here though.” Patrick held his hand out for Jonny’s. </p><p>“You stole my line.” Jonny interlaced their fingers. “Walk outside?” </p><p>“Yeah.” Patrick opened the door with his free hand, bracing for the breezy chill of a Canadian spring in May. They walked towards the lake in silence.</p><p>“Why the fuck did you think I was breaking up with you last night?” Jonny squeezed Patrick’s hand and slowed down. Patrick looked up at him, squinting slightly against the sun. </p><p>“Um, well you hadn’t been sleeping and you didn’t want to talk to me.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “So I assumed you were upset about something and it had to do with me.”</p><p>“You weren’t wrong, sort of.” Jonny pulled him down on a bench. “It gets pretty bad, not sleeping. I didn’t want to tell you.”</p><p>“That’s the fucking dumbest thing you’ve done this year.” Patrick bit out, voice warbly and slow. Jonny glanced over at him. “I can’t say the dumbest thing you’ve ever done. But damn it. You’ve gotta tell me these things. I fucking missed you too. It’s not just a ‘you’ thing.”</p><p>“I didn’t want to make you feel like I was dependent on you!” Jonny burst out, pulling a leg up on the bench to turn and face Pat. “I told you, I was trying to protect you.” </p><p>“I don’t want you to protect me from you.” Patrick caught Jonny’s hand again and stroked his thumb over Jonny’s wrist. </p><p>“I don’t want you to think if I’m upset that I’m going to break up with you.” Jonny said quietly, leaning towards Patrick slightly. </p><p>“Okay, fair enough.” Patrick rolled his eyes. </p><p>“No, really. Do you-do you not think I’m in this? Committed to this-to you?” Jonny squeezed their fingers together. </p><p>“Jonny, it’s not that, it’s just-” Patrick started, looking away. </p><p>“You’re it for me.” Jonny’s voice was steady. Patrick swung to face him. “I know we haven’t talked a lot about getting married because of hockey. But, I want you. However you wanna be mine. Forever. If that’s not clear, that’s on me.” </p><p>“I thought you didn’t like talking about emotions,” Patrick joked, voice scratchy with tears. </p><p>“I never mind talking about how I feel about you. Well,” Jonny paused and studied Patrick. “I don’t mind with you. Sometimes I’m not sure what to say to other people.” Patrick laughed through his tears. </p><p>“Jonny, you’re it for me too.” Patrick grinned and leaned up for a kiss. Jonny pecked his lips and pulled away. </p><p>“Babe, you’ve got a snot situation going on that I do not want to be in the middle of.” Jonny smiled, nose wrinkling in glee. Patrick shoved at him. </p><p>“Shut up, you love it.” He smirked and stood up, wiggling his hand for Jonny’s. </p><p>“I do.” Their eyes met and softened with understanding.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>